Oh shit… Not again.
So here’s a brief overview of what my girlfriend and I have been through recently. My girlfriend, Mira, and I were at the movie theater or cinema or whatever you wish to call it; we were on a rather cheap date, and on the way out of the theater an old man grabbed one of Mira’s breasts. I was so outraged that I punched him before Mira could even yell, “Rape!” (or anything to that effect). Apparently, the theater we went to doesn’t tolerate that sort of behavior, so we were thrown out. Well, actually, only I was thrown out. Oh, and I forgot to mention, they called the police.
Oh, and to add to the fun, when the police went to check my criminal record, they found some things which I thought I’d hidden… Anyways, they nearly arrested me. In case you’re wondering how I know all this… I had to pin the cop who almost caught me and force the information out of ‘im. Sadly, Mira refused to take my advice and go home, so she’s now wanted for assisting a fugitive. Oh, and you’re also probably wondering my age. I’m too paranoid to tell you that. I can assure you that I’m innocent though. The things on my criminal record are all set-up…
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